Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The King Sobbed "Oh Dearie Me" And Went Back To Bed.
I went and hung out with my Grandma today, to gossip and discuss my cousin's fiancee's upcoming bridal shower, and that sort of thing.
We also ended up reading a couple of poems out of a very 1950s-era-illustrated poetry book, where all the women had waists the size of a can of soup -- my favorite was one about a king who wanted butter on his toast, but the cow was all, "Dude, it's four in the morning. Eat something else." So the milkmaid and the queen kept telling the king that
Marmalade is tasty when it's very thickly spread!
The king immediately burst into hysterical tears and pitches a huge fit, causing all the womenfolk to go "There, there" and the cow, guiltily, gives him both butter and milk (for his "porriger"), and he ends up sliding down the banister cheering at his own awesomeness and proclaiming that
Nobody, my darling, could call me a fussy man, but I do like a little bit of butter for my bread!
The king sounds like a jerk.
I'm not sure these are the kids of anti-aristocracy poems we ought to be implanting in our children's heads....
Grandma also, before I left, gave me a very large sum of money to spend on something fun when I'm in Sweden.
Under the condition that I didn't have sex while I was over there.
Sorry, Erik the Swede.
"GRANDMA!" I gasped, horrified.
Because... it's my grandma! She can't say the "s"-word!!
Mom and Cath both think it would be hysterical to come back from my trip and write her a check for the amount, plus a little extra. Very much "Here, Grandma. I feel like I owe you money now, too..."
But no! I'd be out of the will for sure!
In other news, I've decided to apply for grad school.
Applications are due July 1st.
Ten bucks to whomever wants to write my personal statement....
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