Thursday, June 18, 2009
Verdict: Will Make Excellent Marine. Also, Has Ridiculously Ditzy Friends.
I was visited at the Paper Printing Place today by a federal agent, who was conducting a background check on Miguel.
I don't know if I'm a good or a bad person, friends, to be a character witness, because while I am all gung-ho and talking about how awesome you are, I also have trouble remembering important names and dates and places and timelines that are related to you, at least without prompting.
It's not that I *forget* stuff. If something cues a memory, I can immediately be like, "Oh, yeah! He worked at [insert name of restaurant here] for [this year] and [that year] and this one time, [insert humorous anecdote here]."
But without prompting, I'm stuck with, "Um... he was a waiter... I think?"
Fail, Monica. Fail.
I also appeared to have trouble grasping the point of his questions.
It was very
Agent Man: So, is Miguel involved in any clubs?
Me: Well, I know he did a lot of martial arts stuff! Tai chi, that sort of thing! He was really good at it and --
Agent Man: Ma'am, I'm wondering more if he's a member of any subversive groups. Is he a participant in the Ku Klux Klan, part of any anarchist organizations...?
Me: What? Oh, God no! Definitely no!
and
Agent Man: When Miguel was studying overseas, did he ever tell you of any contacts he was making there?
Me: Oh, sure, he'd write all the time about cool Australian tourists he'd meet in bars, and --
Agent Man: Ma'am, I'm wondering more if he could have come in contact with individuals who might coerce him into breaking his oath to the United States Marine Corps and to his country?
Me: No! How could -- no! Really, no!
So at least I got those ones right eventually.
Probably because there were no dates or places involved!
Huzzah!
Comments:
The name and dates thing explains why you were not a history major.
Also, you are tots going to be my character witness.
Hee.
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Also, you are tots going to be my character witness.
Hee.
