Wednesday, July 08, 2009
A Natural Hootchy-Kootchy Motion
Mom and Dad - well, Mom especially - have been a little worried about taking care of my pets while I'm gone.
No, not my pets. My goldfish.
Apparently they think, for some reason, that I have high-maintenance fish?
Silly parents.
I told them it’s totally not that hard.
They just have to be careful not to suck up any of my shrimp or accidentally siphon out any of the fishes’ eyes or let any of the non-native plants escape into the city water system when they’re cleaning, and that Bette Davis can’t find her food most days because she’s not really genetically equipped to hunt, so they’ll have to probably pick up and drop her gel food (which I've sliced and left in the freezer) a couple of times on her head so she can get some bites of it, while also being sure to keep her gigantic shrimp at bay, because they've got arms like steam shovels and will scavenge everything up before she even gets a nibble, and that if Angst gets weird white bumps on his head they just need to gently pick him up out of the water and dab hydrogen peroxide on the bumps with a dry Q-tip, and that Sirius always has blood in his eyes but if it looks like it’s really pooling they might want to adjust the temperature in the tank by taking out a couple gallons and adding a few new cold ones, and that if Chester starts leaking pus from his cyst again they just need to add the pre-dosed sulfa medicine I’ll leave out for them, and that the tank is salted to 0.3% right now so if they could be sure to add three teaspoons aquarium salt per gallon that they remove when they're changing the water, that would be perfect, unless they decide to drop to 0.1% instead, and and and and and....
Like I said.
Total breeze.
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